Confessional

I almost cried… Almost. It’s been way to long since my last confession. Please forgive me for I have sinned.  I got caught up with moving from one hood to another hood, then back to the first hood 6 weeks later after the shit was literally about to hit the fan. In which time asshat that went to CA came back, I was stupid and believed his vile, I ended up in Jail for the night, he ended up in jail for 3 months, that wasn’t enough it took hair pulling, a black eye, and pure hatred-now he is on my on the top of my death list right under my very first love. It’s ironic how life works.

On the positive side my black eye healed. I went to a Cannibal Corpse show a few days after it happened and used the mosh pit as the excuse. Fuck my life.

I’ve been single since the beginning of December, I’ve been on temp lay off from work since that time as well. Isn’t it great how life works! Get rid of one problem and another one pops up. I hated the job anyway but being broke sucks. Which is why I’m going back to school for business.

For the first time in a long long time I am in a good place. I’m enroll in school, haven’t smoked a cigarette in a week, I’ve been clean and sober for a good while, I cut out sugar and carbs; it’s time to do me and stop living for other people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Watch “korn-thoughtless (lyrics)” on YouTube

I was dreading today. It’s not like I haven’t dreaded a thousand before, but just because you’ve been though hell already it doesn’t make it any easier to be transported there again. How the hell did I end up here again God dammit! But remember he only gives you what he built you to handle. Fuck off, it still hurts. 

I will not be downed- I refuse to go under and- will see you screaming. Maybe if someone would have screamed at me, opened my eyes to my thoughtless scheming I would not be here writing this today. 

So as I sit here, alone, trying not to drown myself- I thumb through the pages of my fantasies. You made me feel alive, you pushed me to do better when no one else could and I don’t even think you were trying, I wanted to be better for you, you made me love myself again, gave me hope when I was at the bottom looking up at you; where did you go? You’ve been gone for way longer than just the past 6 days. You’ve been gone in your head for years and I stood by as you you did me. 

Then you betrayed me, and betrayed me, AND BETRAYED ME. I gave you everything and believed your poison narcaccistic lies again, again, again, over and over. I dedicate this song to you. My hate will not be bound, I will see you mother fucking screaming. 


Welcome to my dark side

Unfortunately I do not have cookies. I actually have this prepetutal feeling I’m on the verge of exiling the pit of my stomach. 

Hi my name is Tallahasee and I’m a tragedy addict. I’m not even really sure myelf what that means, but I feel as we continue down this road together that may make more sense soon. 

Also for all legality purposes the names of the individuals involved in this tragic love story have been changed to protect their identity. 

I should also be sure to add a parental advisory warning. I like to use a variety of colorful words to describe my dark reality so this blog is for mature audiences only, this is your courtesy warning.

I own no rights to any of the music reviewed in this blog. Please make sure to support your local music scene. Only you can prevent shitty music.